I’ve discussed many times the importance of releasing painful, unhealed memories. We haven’t talked about releasing grief from an energy medicine standpoint.
The loss of a loved one is one of the most stressful events you can experience. It can rock you to your core, even if expected. Grief and loss are painful, but they are part of being human. In fact, if you don’t experience grief in certain situations that is part of the definition of a sociopath.
I had a client whose father had just died and his father was his best friend. He contacted me because it was his father’s wish to have him deliver his eulogy and he just couldn’t do it. “I really want to honor my father by doing what he wanted me to do by delivering the eulogy and I can’t do it. I’m just grief-stricken,” he told me. He could not think about his father without becoming overcome with grief and imagining him dead and laying in a coffin.
I gave him a Healing Code to use literally as he was boarding a plane for his father’s funeral. He called me after the funeral and said “I just had to thank you. It was the weirdest thing ...after my dad died I thought about was delivering the eulogy and all I could picture was him dead and I tried to think of different things and every time I saw him dead it made me upset.” He told me he got on the plane and completed the Healing Code and after the second or third time his thoughts shifted and he started remembering all the wonderful things about his father and the good memories, one after another.
Grief is both totally normal and totally abnormal. Let me explain. I would say that my client picturing his dad only as dead on a gurney or in a casket was abnormal. I’m not saying it was wrong, but that’s not normal grieving despite so many of us doing this. The problem is that humans have had a devolution of our memories to the point that they are filled with negative energy, lies and errors. The highly regarded publication Scientific American has even reported that memories are so full of lies and errors that it would be more accurate to call them illusions.
In the case of my client, he was seeing the illusion/projection of his father being dead. That is a malfunction even though it happens to most people and it’s because of the negative energy in our unconscious mind. When he did the Healing Code and this negative energy healed a lot of those lies and errors about his dad dying went away and all of a sudden without any effort he started seeing, thinking and feeling totally opposite of what he did when he found out his dad had passed.
That is the way we are built! We all have something called psychological adaptation which is designed to make us ok in virtually any circumstance and it is absolutely miraculous.
The grief process typically takes about 6 months, but because of the devolution of our internal memory, grief often becomes too negative for a great many people. They have too much internal negative energy for psychological adaptation to do what it is supposed to do for them and that is absolutely abnormal. It’s normal during the grieving process to gradually start thinking about the positives.
There are two questions to ask yourself to know if you are releasing grief from your mind and body in a healthy manner.
- Are you OK in six months? (But you should begin to feel better gradually before the six-month point.)
- Are you looking at the situation in a balanced way once the shock wears off or are you still reeling and only able to think of the person as dead?
Even though prolonged grief happens so much we think it is normal, this is not normal grief and you are malfunctioning.
In the case of my client of course he wasn’t OK with his dad being dead but he was OK and he was appreciative and remembering the positive memories.
With the death of a child or some very traumatic death you should still see some improvement in a few months, although there is no textbook process -- it all depends on many factors.
One of the age old things people often say that is a constant, however, is that if someone you dearly love passes, they would be the first person to say, “go live your life!”
You absolutely do need to grieve. There is a quote that I love -- tears are to the spirit as soap is to the body. So cry your eyes out. Don’t stop your tears. That is good. That is the normal response to losing someone you love!
Talking to someone even if it is out loud to God is good. Doing something fun that maybe you did with the person you lost, whether that was going fishing or shopping or whatever, is good. Sometimes what works well is to write them a physical letter thanking them and asking them to pray for you, put it in a little basket with a helium balloon and then let it go up toward the heavens.
The bad thing is to “stuff it.” Typically that is the why me, the anger and sadness and that doesn’t just go away. It tends to fester like an infection.
Use Memory Engineering and Trilogy to aid the healing process during grief. Let go of the negative energy and memories that hinder the healing and celebrate the person you lost by truly living life.
Have a blessed, wonderful day!