Habits of Happiness

In the majority of polls throughout history, we have found that what people want most is happiness. Now, those that dig a little deeper find that happiness comes from love. That’s what people really want most, yet the most common answer is happiness.

I am told by scholars that in Jesus famous beatitudes, that when he says, “you’re blessed if you do this or that,” the root meaning of the word used for “blessed” could also be translated as “happiness.” However, this happiness is not the fleeting kind that vanishes when your circumstances are not when you want. This type of happiness is constant, a combination of love, joy, and peace.

Now, the thing that most often messes up our happiness is having a wrong definition of it. For most people, happiness is almost exclusively tied to circumstances. If what I want is happening in my life, then I’m happy. If what’s happening is painful or not what I want, then I’m unhappy. Not only is this a wrong definition of happiness, but I believe it’s a dangerous one. Not only does it set you up to be unhappy, but for failure, health problems, and destruction in almost every area of your life.

Dr. Dan Gilbert’s wonderful research at Harvard University found that expectations kill virtually every area of your life. Because the instant you have an external, physical, circumstantial expectation, it puts you into physiological stress—and if you’re already in stress, it spikes it through the roof. The circumstantial definition of happiness is just another way of saying expectation. So you’re really setting yourself up to never be truly happy, and to create all the painful circumstances that you’re trying to avoid by controlling them. It’s a paradox.

So how can you be happy? By living in the present moment in love as best you can and evaluating everything accordingly. Are you still working toward end results? Absolutely! And you’ll be working many times more effectively because you’re doing it in physiological peace rather than stress. Once again, it’s a paradox. Your end results are coming from a place of peace, and your place of peace comes from surrendering the end results. The problem is, we’re so ingrained in the wrong view and meaning of happiness, that for many people, it’s almost impossible to choose the right meaning. This is what led me out of traditional counseling and therapy to what I do today.

Use Trilogy to change that definition in you. Start choosing the correct definition and commit yourself to love in the present moment as best you can. You will have more energy, nagging health problems will start going away, your thoughts and feelings will miraculously turn more and more positive, and you’ll find yourself getting better and better in everything you do.

Have a blessed, wonderful day!

Alex Loyd