Franklin D. Roosevelt said there is “nothing to fear but fear itself.” Although there are, of course, legitimate things to be fearful of as we navigate life, we waste a lot of time, energy and even money on illogical fears that never become a reality.
Many of us are guided by fear and don’t realize it until it’s too late to reverse the damage that's been done. Operating from a standpoint of fear holds us back in every part of our lives. I know because I lived in a fear-based manner until I was in my 20s. It nearly wrecked by marriage! At my lowest point I had a profound “aha” moment which was the inspiration for The Love Code, the core method I’ve based my life’s work on, which states:
Virtually every problem or lack of happiness and success comes from an internal state of fear in some form -- even physical problems. And every internal state of fear results from a deficit of love in relation to that particular issue.
Living in fear sabotages our relationships, health, career and happiness – and almost all of us do this without even realizing it! Our fear-based programming makes it nearly impossible to find true fulfillment.This is why conventional self-help methods fail nearly 97 percent of the time! It’s why my wife Hope, one of the smartest people I know, became so frustrated after reading hundreds of books on how to beat depression which all basically told her to think positively instead of negatively. This might work temporarily, but it’s not a permanent solution. The same with fears...we can’t simply talk ourselves out of many of our fears because they are often deeply embedded in our subconscious.
This fear-based programming began at birth meaning many of the events and circumstances of your childhood have been imprinted on your subconscious mind, dictating the way you respond to situations as an adult. We all have internal traumas and every time you imagine something to be real, including an irrational fear, it reactivates a memory. And guess what? Your unconscious does not differentiate between memory and reality. There’s an acronym I’ve seen for fear that is very fitting: “Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real.”
Fear presents itself in many forms: healthy fear which keeps us safe (intuition); real fear which is based in reality; and illogical fears which can are commonly manifested as phobias.
Today I want to talk about illogical, fear-based thoughts. Typically these fall into one of three categories as outlined in this Mind Body Green article:
- Prophesying "I'm going to get on this airplane and have a panic attack."
- Catastrophizing "This plane is going to crash and we’re all going to die!”
- Overgeneralizing "I just saw a news report about a terrible plane crash so all planes are unsafe and I’m never flying again.”
Any time one of these illogical, fear-based thoughts crops up, you can recognize it's our illogical fear at work. You can challenge these thoughts by asking the following questions:
- What around me contradicts this thought?
- What action could I take if this were to occur?
- Is this thought fear-based?
Push pause, step back and ask yourself these questions the next time you are being held back by fear. Remember that your success in life, whether it be in relationships, in your career, etcetera, boils down to whether you are in an internal state of fear or an internal state of love. Our whole lives we’ve been taught to love one another, but in order to fully heal we must first love ourselves. Secondly, we must take responsibility for our actions so that we can positively love others in an unselfish way.
Choosing to live mindfully and consciously change your attitude is only a temporary solution, however. The Healing Codes I’ve spent years developing will help change the underlying programming that continually fuels your fear-based living. Remember, this fear also causes anger, sadness, shame, confusion and basically every negative emotion and feeling under the sun.
Let fear go and let love in and you’ll be amazed at how you’ll start living life as it was meant to be.