Despite setting goals and focusing on good intentions, many of us sabotage our own best interests through self-destructive behaviors. Some people might not even recognize these in themselves, while others might be aware but are unable to quit them because of internal, unconscious programming.
In 2004 JAMA reported that the Centers for Disease Control had come to the conclusion that 35 percent of all deaths could be eliminated if people could change their behavior and actions. This is a remarkable statistic!
I have a friend who is a world-class geneticist who says stress steals about a third of our lifetime based on how much less we would be sick if we were only stressed about 15 minutes a day rather than constantly.
This is nothing new. Self-destructive behavior is something humans have dealt with for thousands of years. The Apostle Paul said in Romans 7:15-20 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
So be easy on yourself. I’ve never met anyone who did not have at least one self-destructive behavior!
Even as a kid I was fascinated with the underlying cause of things, and today the concept of cellular memory is at the core of my practice. About 15 years ago Southwestern University Medical Center researchers discovered that our experiences do not just reside in our brains, but are recorded at the cellular level throughout our bodies, and they believed these cellular memories were the true source of illness and disease. Your memories are at the root of your behaviors, actions, habits and addictions that are either the success or the failure of your life.
To me, it boils down to three key issues:
- Fear of Failure - One of the biggest issues holding us back is fear of failure. We think “if I don’t try as hard as I can maybe I’ll still succeed but at least if I fail I can always think to myself and tell others yeah if I had tried as hard as I could and succeeded there would be no room for growth.” In other words, if we try our best and fail that would be devastating. So we cheat ourselves of our full potential. Take fear of public speaking, which has been the number one fear on the planet more than death itself. We see ourselves as either being successful or failing...so fear of public speaking is not about the words, it’s about your identity, rejection versus acceptance and success versus failure.
- Fear of Success - This brings us to the next self-destructive behavior so closely tied to fear of failure -- fear of success. People will get comfortable even in a terrible situation and a lot of us might say goodness how do you live like that, but in their mind they justify things so they think they are doing OK. They are coping by telling themselves it might be worse. What if I do succeed and something is expected of me? They settle because of fear of success.
- The Need for Instant Gratification - Studies on instant gratification show that people of any age who can delay instant gratification are in a happier state of mind, have better relationships, make more money, are healthier, etc. I call this need for instant gratification a love substitute. Like the Beatles said years ago all you need is love. I’ve counseled many famous people who were close to death and despite all the plaques and trophies and millions of dollars, etcetera, it doesn’t matter because at the end of their life they know they made the wrong choice by not choosing love.
So many of us doubt that love is ever going to happen for us in any of its formats, from writing the book to having the relationship we want with our kids or spouse. We’re afraid we won’t get it or it will take too long so we choose a love substitute. It could be pornography, an affair, a gallon of ice cream every day, but relying on these love substitutes means you are in danger of being in the 35 percent that the CDC says got sick or died before their time because they made the wrong choices.
You may feel that you are making the wrong choices but because of one of the three things mentioned above you do it anyway. You might say, “oh I’ll make changes tomorrow,” and tomorrow ends up being 30 years!
That’s why you need to clean this up NOW! Heal the fear of success and the fear of failure and refocus the love substitutes in your life. A lot of people are missing out on the real thing in their lives because they settle for the substitute. But remember, beyond what you thought you wanted is LOVE! Yes the real deal is waiting for you.
Cheating yourself out of.the real life you were supposed to have can be one of the worse things you can do. In order to live your life the way it was meant to be lived you have to clear out these three fears holding you back.
You can’t break these patterns through willpower alone, however, because they’re hardwired into our unconscious minds. How can you finally break free from self-destructive behavior? My Trilogy method will help you get to the core issues holding you back and you can try it today for free. I spent years researching Trilogy and there’s nothing quite like it in the world. It combines the top energy healing modalities in the world that address body, mind and spirit
Get to the root of what’s holding you back and live your life to the fullest potential!