Victory in Defeat
By now, you all know what a fan I am of the apostle Paul. The book of Romans—and especially Romans 7 literally saved my life, and it remains one of my absolute favorite passages to this day. It’s so remarkable to me that one of the greatest, holiest men in scripture, near the end of his career, when his wisdom was at its peak, wrote, “what a wretched man I am, for I do not understand my own actions. I do not do the things I love, but the things I hate, these are the things I do, and I do them over and over again!” How encouraging for me to be able to identify so closely with such a great man! I definitely know how he felt.
Paul goes on to make the incredible statement that when I do the thing I hate, it is not I who does it, but sin living in me. I’ve talked a lot about this too, for good reason, and will again. But today, my mind turns to what said after this, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Some versions add, “Who always leads me in victory.”
Now, that last part is very interesting, because if you follow the thread of what Paul is saying, it’s pretty clear that he isn’t always victorious over his own sins. He was merely a man, and all have fallen short of the glory of God. So what is the victory he’s talking about?
Remember that the gospel makes a clear separation between the believer and their sin, as far as the East is from the West, “it is not I who do it but sin living in me.” What this seems to be saying is that as long as a Christian’s heart is in the right place, and they are genuinely trying to do right, even the sin you’ve just committed five minutes ago isn’t charged against you, meaning that you really can experience victory in the midst of defeat.
Of course, this is dependent on your heart being in the right place, so don’t take it as an invitation to sin, but as a remarkable gift, substituting guilt and shame for strength and gratitude even in the midst of a bad struggle.
As a psychologist, I see this as the answer to a major problem that’s rarely talked about. There is a tension in psychotherapy when it comes to working with people who have good reason to feel guilty. Say someone who beat his wife, for example. Of course, this is awful behavior, forgivable perhaps, but not excusable. But psychotherapy is about rehabilitation, not punishment. So what do you do when that person confesses to feeling intense guilt, to the point of feeling unworthy and even hating themselves? Any therapist worth the name would recognize the need for them to work through those issues—heck, any mature person would. But isn’t there a validity to that reaction? Aren’t they truly in need of forgiveness?
The problem is that the therapist can’t give them that forgiveness. At best, they might be able to persuade them to forgive themselves. But it’s far more likely that they will merely persuade them that they should forgive themselves. Actually doing it isn’t so easy, because it is unearned. So now we come to the big question, should they?
I’m not suggesting that they shouldn’t. By asking the question, I want to point out that a foundation is needed. Something to give hope for victory in defeat. Perhaps the offended wife will offer forgiveness, but then, perhaps not. There’s never a guarantee that forgiveness will be offered by another person. This is why it was such a big deal when Jesus went around forgiving sins. It makes no sense to forgive another person’s sin committed against someone else. To forgive someone, you have to be wronged, and only God can be considered a wronged party in all sin.
The concept of forgiveness is perhaps the most powerfully transformative directive in Christianity, because it is not confined to one person and their God, instead it connects and disarms all of us. As you forgive others, so you shall be forgiven, says the Bible. Without that, there would still be unforgiveness and hatred, as I am forgiven for my sins, and can therefore look down on you from a position of restored purity. A bit haughty, yes. But it would seem technically justifiable, as I no longer have any mark held against me and you, perhaps, do.
But by making it contingent on my willingness to pay it forward, by saying, because you have been forgiven, you have no right to hold unforgiveness against others, it becomes what C.S. Lewis called a “good infection.” It spreads rapidly from one person to the next, until war and hatred become strangers. This is one of the greatest secrets of Christianity with the power to heal the world.
Have a blessed, wonderful day!
Dr. Alex Loyd
