How Feeling Like a Failure Can Actually Lead to a Breakthrough

How Feeling Like a Failure Can Actually Lead to a Breakthrough

Cheery title for today’s post, isn’t it?

I kid, but if you’ve been with us for a while, you already know I have a fascination with paradox. In my experience, some of the most meaningful and transformative truths in life are the ones that seem upside-down at first glance. And today’s topic is a perfect example of that upside-down wisdom.

Everyone fails from time to time. That’s normal. But feeling like a failure—that deep, aching sense of not being enough—is one of the heaviest emotional states we can experience. And strangely, I’ve found it can also be one of the most valuable.

Now, I won’t hold things up with my personal story; I’ve shared that recently. But I will say this: human nature, left to its own devices, can be lazy. Not out of malice, it's just the way we’re wired. Most of us default to doing just enough to feel okay about ourselves. But living fully present, fully loving, fully alive takes intention. It’s not our automatic way of doing things.

So when I say feeling like a failure might be a gift, I don’t mean it flippantly. And I’m certainly not suggesting you are one (I don’t believe that for a second). But what I am saying is this: if you’re tired of living a "pretty good" life and you want something more, something extraordinary, that heavy feeling might just be the doorway.

Failure as Eustress: The Good Kind of Pressure

There’s a concept in biology called eustress, which means “good stress.” It’s the kind of stress that challenges us, pushes us to adapt, and ultimately helps us grow. Exercise is the most obvious example, your body breaks down muscle so it can build back stronger muscles. But I believe this principle applies to the emotional and spiritual parts of us too.

When we hit a low, when we feel like we’ve missed the mark, that pain can serve us. It can alert us to misalignment and it can call us to action.

Of course, not all pain is useful. If you’re stuck in cycles of shame or self-judgment, it may be time for some internal healing work. That’s where tools like Trilogy or The Healing Codes can be life-changing.

Don’t Waste the Wake-Up Call

When you feel like a failure, ask yourself: Is this a wake-up call? Or is it just an old wound asking for healing?

If it’s the former, lean in. Use it. Let that discomfort spark the change you’ve been quietly craving.

And if it’s the latter, give yourself compassion. You don’t need to fix yourself. You’re not broken. But you may need to tend to the places that still believe you are.

The Invitation of Failure

Ultimately, the message is simple: feeling like a failure can be an invitation.

An invitation to rise. To grow. To shift from survival to truely thriving.

So if that’s where you are today (low, discouraged, unsure) know this:

You’re not alone. And this feeling isn’t the end. It might just be the beginning of your best chapter yet.

Have a blessed, wonderful day.

- Dr. Alex Loyd