Emergency

I’ve said several times before that emergencies generally aren’t when most of us get ourselves in trouble. Nothing brings people together quite like a crisis, and most people will show up when it matters most. When a friend needs a ride to the hospital, or a few bucks to make it through a particularly hard month, or just a sympathetic ear at the end of a relationship, it calls straight through to a deep and powerful part of us. When the stakes are high, small sacrifices really seem small.

But that’s not always the case, is it? It sometimes seems to me that I can see things so clearly in moments like these, when I have an opportunity to really help someone by giving up just a little of my time and energy, and the temptations and stresses of my daily life seem a little bit silly in comparison.

But of course, we forget so quickly. The moment passes, and there’s nothing like a routine for defining your expectations, and even your outlook. I think this is one of the major reasons why charity is such an important part of life, according to the wisdom of ancient manuscripts. It is not only for the sake of those who need it—although of course that is a good and worthy thing—it is also for our own sake. To remind us of what really matters in our own lives. And, just as importantly, what does not. It spotlights the necessities of life, and stops us from getting overly committed to our little routines.

The snag, of course, is that for most of us—I hope—our friends cannot be relied upon to field a good, cleansing emergency on a weekly or monthly basis. Which is to say that we all ought to be giving something of ourselves to those who need it. Those of us who are able to do this for our living, like me, are blessed. But the more you look, the more you can find opportunities for giving a bit of yourself in the same way, even if it’s not any kind of emergency. A real conversation with friends about the deeper things in life, a spontaneous chore done without asking.

Too often, charity is boiled down to tithing 10% to your local church, or donating food and clothes, or bringing food to a recently bereaved friend. All fine things, of course, but we tend to think that it’s all about meeting people’s needs. Providing help for those who can’t help themselves.

I think it is about connection. Really, it’s not so much about the physical acts. Most of it is not the doing, but the seeing. We all know what it’s like to feel alone, even with other people around us. We all know how much it means- just to be acknowledged. Giving is just a particularly acute and joyful way of expressing that.

Have a blessed, wonderful day!

Dr. Alex Loyd