We all carry unhealthy beliefs – things that are not true and sometimes not even logical, but that feel true and logical to us. These presumptions form our belief system which impacts our world view and how we interpret the events around us.
Fortunately, most of us can recognize many of our unhealthy beliefs, especially the ones obviously connected to a low sense of self-worth – i.e. I’m ugly, I’m unlovable, I’m not good enough. But there are other unhealthy beliefs so universally common that most of us believe they are true. Here are five unhealthy beliefs that masquerade as truth:
- Being successful means being financially well off.
- I’m not acceptable unless I perform well.
- Others will only love me if I do things for them/please them.
- Asking for help is a sign of weakness.
- Saying no is selfish.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these so-called “truths” our culture perpetuates.
Being successful means being financially well off. In our materialistic, consumer-driven society in the U.S. we often place financial well being over all other priorities. Take the example of people who have achieved fame and wealth only to realize they are still unhappy and unfulfilled. I have even written about this in a previous blog. The truth is that some of the happiest people on the planet aren’t “wealthy” by traditional monetary standards, but they are rich in happiness, knowledge and blessings.
I’m not acceptable unless I perform well. We live in a very goal oriented and measured results society. From the time we start elementary school and on into our career, we are “graded” on various scales. The reality is, however, that one person or one organization’s definition of “excellent” may vary greatly from another. Performing well can mean giving it our all and not comparing ourselves to others. That, in my opinion, is outstanding performance.
Others will only love me if I do things for them/please them. Are you a people pleaser? Did you grow up on the “gold star” mentality of making sure others always approved of your behavior and actions? While there is nothing wrong with wanting to please others, it can rapidly become a negative pattern and even segue into co-dependent behavior if not kept in balance. The truth is people will, and should, love you exactly for who you are, not what you do for them. A healthy relationship is balanced, based on compromise, love and respect and does not place one person’s needs over the other’s, including one’s own needs.
Asking for help is a sign of weakness. From the time we are young we are taught to be independent. Boys, in particular, are taught that asking for help is a sign of weakness and girls, in an effort to avoid the stigma of the “weaker sex,” also avoid asking for help. The world’s most powerful leaders, including CEOs such as Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Oprah Winfrey and Tim Cook hire and surround themselves with people that are more skilled in other areas than they are. Effective leaders know when to ask for help.
Saying no is selfish. This issue is closely related to the people pleasing “untruth” mentioned above. Self-care is a very popular topic these days in our stressed-out, overscheduled world. There’s a popular saying for adults -- “put on your oxygen mask first.” Saying no is many ways is actually be a very unselfish act because doing so enables you to better handle stress, as well as better take care of those you love.
The Anxiety Centre published a much longer list of common, user-submitted unhealthy beliefs that you can read here. These untruths, if not addressed and eliminated, can hold us back in every area of our lives.
The “issues of the heart,” or the negative spiritual and emotional beliefs caused by hurt and trauma, can control health, resonate destructive energy frequencies and create stress. The Healing Codes that I discovered have helped millions deprogram fear-based thinking and reach a level of peak performance .
Let’s quit feeding into these negative spiritual and emotional beliefs and live the life we were meant to!